daily mantra: i'm pregnant, not fat.

I'm 30 weeks (and one day) pregnant, and I'd like to think I'm looking pretty good. 

Somehow, between my late-night chili dog cravings and chocolate-iced donut binges, I've managed to only put on 13 pounds-- and most of it is belly and boobs, thank the good lord. I'm still rocking the pre-pregnancy jeans (thank you, American Eagle Boyfriend Fit), but things in the undies department aren't quite so fab.

Let me clarify.

I don't have a huge ass. It's actually pretty nice (and one of the reasons my husband married me, I'm pretty sure). But one of the horrible realities of pregnancy is that it doesn't matter if you maintain twig-status or become morbidly obese, your ass will get fat. Even a couple of pounds can take you out of those teeny sexy pre-preg panties in a heartbeat, and land you right where you never thought you would be-- shopping for size large cotton panties at Victoria's Secret. 

It's a land almost as barren and sad as Cumberland, MD (and if you don't know what I'm talking about, just picture a town where everyone has about five teeth and going to Wal-Mart is a special occasion). 

And the girls who work at Victoria's Secret? They will judge you. They will judge you first for bee-lining to the cotton underwear, and then again for bending your pregnant self over far enough to reach the "large" drawer.

At first glance, large cotton underwear seem pretty ridiculous. Is my ass actually this fat?! Here I am, in the middle of all things sexy and lacy, holding up cotton underwear that could probably fit Shamu. Pre-preg Erica was a healthy size 6 (and, for the most part, I still am)-- the definition of a medium in every way. Throw a fetus into the mix, and things are bound to change-- I get it. But large cotton underwear? Scary.

Eventually, I got over myself and bought the stupid large underwear. I convinced myself that they would shrink in the wash, and by the time I dried them at a face-melting temperature they would be a little less scary. And it would be a refreshing change for my underwear to not cut off my circulation. Little Man will make his big debut on or around June 14th, and until that point (and a little while after) the teeny sexy pre-preg panties will have to hang out in the back of my underwear drawer... and life will go on.

And the judgy girls who work at Victoria's Secret? Their day will come.