Friday Facts

Fact #1 I would not survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Mike and I just marathon-ed through the first season of The Walking Dead, and let's just say Darwin wasn't kidding. It all boils down to survival of the fittest, and I am not one of them. I don't know how to use a gun, I'm out of shape, and I'm too high-maintenance to live in a tent. There, I said it.

Fact #2 Little people are the best people. I stopped in to visit my kindergarten friends on Wednesday, and they swarmed me. I wish I could just love on those little nuggets forever. So lucky to have spent the semester with them!

Fact #3 I cry every time I see this commercial. I'm going to need a tranquilizer to get through Landon's first day of school.

Fact #4 I'm gonna have to get a second job so I can spoil all of my happily engaged friends! Five weddings in the next two years-- so exciting!

Fact #5 Graduation is in 169 DAYS. As much as I don't want to wish the next six months of Landon's life away, I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT. So close.

Back on the Map

Ok so I didn't die. I wasn't kidnapped or held hostage or living in a third world country without access to the Internet. I was just buried under a giant heap of schoolwork and this is the first time I've had a chance to write something that is not a) a lesson plan or b) a reflection about student teaching. 

igraduateinmayigraduateinmayigraduateinmayigraduateinmayIGRADUATEINMAY!

My first student teaching experience has come to a close, which means I only have one left (ONE!) before graduation. As reluctant as I was to work with kindergarten, I found myself not wanting to leave! Those little people are so awesome. Having a bad day? Hang out with a five-year-old for a few minutes and you'll feel better, guaranteed. Their excitement for learning is absolutely contagious! I wish I could bottle it up and keep it forever. I'm super-psyched to hang out with my second-graders this spring, but it's nice to know that my kindergarten people will be right down the hall =]

It's been kind of a tough month for our family in a lot of ways, so I'm extra glad that the holidays are in full swing! I love this time of year. Our tree is up and stockings are hung. It's so exciting to make Landon part of our holiday traditions! 

Speaking of that little booger, he's been doing some serious growing. He's weighing in at 16 pounds these days, and is plowing through baby food and cereal like a tank. Santa Clause is definitely going to be bringing him some nine-month clothes!

Hoping to be a little more diligent in keeping up with this blog now that I have about five minutes of my life back. But enough about me-- how are you?

five months old

You're five months old! Almost half of a year has passed since you were born. Crazy, right? Crazy.

This month saw the end of the boobs, and it kills me. You don't really seem to care. Your little eyes have been opened to the big wide world of baby food, and you're not looking back. I still feel tinges of mommy-guilt every time I fix you a bottle, and it just plain sucks! It probably sounds silly to most people, but I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a special bond with you that I will never get back. I guess four months of boobs is better than none at all, and you're happy and healthy and that's all that matters. 

We've made it to six month clothes! You were only 13 pounds at your last appointment, but I have a feeling you're pushing sixteen or so by now. Your appetite is practically insatiable, and you're finally sleeping through the night (woop woop!), which means my boy is doing some serious growing! Part of me is sad to pack away all of your too-small clothes, but it's exciting to look forward to all that the coming months will bring.

It's official-- you're sleeping in your own bed! Daddy usually puts you down around 9 or 10, and you sleep until about 4-- sometimes even 6:30! Now don't get me wrong, I'm still a sucker for some momma-baby snuggle time, but it's nice to get a good night's sleep once in a while, too.

We packed up the swing and replaced it with a jumperoo this month! You don't totally appreciate it yet (mostly because you haven't figured out how to jump in it), but I have a feeling it will be a new favorite in the coming weeks.

The only thing you really care about right now is chewing-- ON EVERYTHING. A couple of wittle teeth are trying to break through on the bottom, which means anything you can get your hands on goes straight to your mouth-- momma's hair, blankies, toys, your own fists... And apparently teething = fever = diaper rash, so it's been a really good time in the Kozlowski house. Not.

This month brought with it your first halloween! You went with Daddy to the Mummer's Day Parade, and we bundled you up in a super cute monster hat! You were too small for most of the halloween costumes we found, and this momma isn't crafty enough to make one soooo the hat will have to do.

You are a ROLY POLY and dyyyying to sit up! I have a feeling it won't be long! It's so exciting, watching you learn new things each day, coming into your own. I'm almost afraid to blink! I can't believe it's been five beautiful months already. Love you, sweet boy <3

Student Teaching

If you know me at all, you know that I am Type A to the core. Textbook definition. I am the queen of lists, I would have a panic attack if my planner ever went missing, and the very idea of things not going to plan practically throws me into convulsions. I am a perfectionist down to the last detail, and it bothers me when people don't notice how hard I work.

...and I have friends how?

Don't lie to yourself. You may not be this particular breed of crazy, but there's a part of you that's a closet-nutcase and crazy is crazy, all the same. Mine just happens to get in the way all the time.

The motto of my mentor teacher's classroom is "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!" and we spend most of each day reminding our kids that these are words to live by; you have to take a chance and trust yourself in order to learn. And while I might talk the talk, I definitely can't walk the walk.

Here's the thing about student teaching. Through the teacher lens, you are constantly analyzing your students, be it through their work, their behaviors, or otherwise. So as a student teacher, you are strangely aware of the fact that you, too, are being observed under this lens, by your mentor teacher and in your own personal reflections. Translation? At any given moment, I am on the verge of a panic attack because I'm so stressed out over whether or not I'm doing everything right.

You're welcome, Pfizer.

Most people can accept the fact that when you're doing something for the first time, you'll probably make some mistakes. I am not most people. I want so badly for everything to be perfect that I obsess over it. And if I don't receive praise for it? It must have been bad. Chalk that up to being firstborn and praised for everything from day one. Also, I'm clearly a nutcase.

While the goal of student teaching is to learn how to teach, I'm finding that a big part of it for me is learning to be a better student-- to allow myself an opportunity to take chances and learn from them. I can see myself in the kids I'm teaching. The kid who is constantly seeking approval? There I am. The kid who has to tell you every time he does something well? There I am. The kid who's afraid to try something because he might be wrong? There I am. Watching them grow and change over the last few weeks gives me reason to believe that someday, I'll be ready to take the crazy down a notch. Until then, just love me anyway =]

P.S. Slacking much? Sorry for the shortage of blog lovin'. I'm a busy lady! Everyone is happy and healthy and enjoying this beautiful fall weather. T-minus seven months until graduation and it can't get here fast enough!

four months old

You are four months old!

This has been a month full of milestones.

You have mastered the art of rolling every which way! Tummy time doesn't freak you out as much anymore, and you're slowly starting to tolerate it for longer periods of time. When you get yourself really worked up, you grab onto the playmat and attempt to launch yourself forward. Something tells me you'll be army-crawling in no time!

You are not a fan of sitting-- after all, why sit when you can stand? You use your wittle ab muscles to get into a siting position, but then you make your whole body stiff so that you can stand. You're pretty wobbly on your feet, but you're bound and determined to make it happen anyway.

You're getting really great at holding your head up! The whole upper-body thing is a work in progress, but you'll get it soon enough, little man. You're becoming more of a little boy every day, and it's so exciting!

We introduced rice cereal this month, and so far it's smooth sailing. You aren't stoked about it (duh, it isn't boobs), but you're giving it a chance. Momma didn't realize there was a rice cereal hierarchy, so we kind of gave you the cereal with fruit instead of the simple stuff, but you liked it so whatever. I can't wait until we can start trying out some baby food!

This is the month of THE FUSS. 

We think you're teething, but actual teeth have yet to be seen. All the signs are there-- there has to be something in your mouth at all times, you drool all over yourself, and, well, you're generally pissed off 99% of the time-- so I'm thinking teeth are imminent. Hoping we get over this hurdle soon so that I can have my snuggly happy baby back!

Student teaching has begun, and the whole not seeing you part really sucks. We're definitely lucky that Gigi can take care of you while I'm way, but it still breaks my heart every morning when I drop you off. Remember what we talked about-- no "firsts" unless Momma is there! Deal? Deal. Sometimes I wish we could go back to those first few weeks of summer so it could be Momma and baby time, all day every day.

One year ago today, I found out that I was pregnant with you. I can hardly believe it's been that long already! In just one year you've grown from a tiny little bean into my almost-fifteen-pound nugget. Who knows where the next year will take us?  Love you more than you know, little man. Do me a favor? Take your time with this growing up thing.

Friday Letters

WOW what a crazy week! Mike and I kicked it off in NYC on Saturday, celebrating our first anniversary (more on that in another post). When we got back Sunday night, it was go-go-go all week and frankly, I don't know why I'm not passed out in some kind of stress-induced coma right now. Whoever said that working moms "have it all" must also be cracked out on Ativan. 

Enjoy this week's installment of Friday Letters, and be sure to check out this blogger and the original Letters. Happy weekend!

Dear New York Friends,

You're AWESOME! Thank you thank you THANK YOU for a perfect anniversary weekend!

Dear Brooklyn,

Hey, I just met you-- and this is crazy-- but I'm in love with you. Mike and I have always talked about moving to NYC, and I could totally see us raising our little family here. Five year plan?

Dear Landon,

I feel like I've only seen you for five minutes this week, and I hate it. The best part of my day is coming home to your dimply smiles and snuggling you tight, if only for a few minutes before I'm out the door again. Part of me is glad that you won't remember this time, because I'm not around as much as I'd like to be. I keep reminding myself that the hours I spend working and in class are going to pay off for our family in the end, but right now it sucks. It just plain sucks.

Dear Roy Rogers Bacon Cheeseburger,

You were the only semi-real food I ate all day, and you were incredible in all of your 6,000-calorie glory. My tummy (and the lard around my waistline) thanks you.

Dear Motown Artists of the 1960s (and early 70s),

Thank you for calming my child. I don't really know why he has such an affinity for your music, but we're just gonna go with it. You've been the soundtrack to many a kitchen dance sesh, and I don't hate it.

Dear Bank Account,

I'm sorry. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Dear Mentor Teacher,

Sorry I send you an average of four emails a day. You should know that I'm a crazy perfectionist and it will probably only get worse. Don't hate me.

Dear People of the World,

If anyone else wants to see my boobs, just ask.

Dear Husband,

You're Super Dad. I would be even more of a mess than I already am if it weren't for you. Thanks for putting up with me this year; hope you're ready for a hundred more =]

More Love Letters

Wouldn't it be great to get a bunch of snail mail that tells you how AWESOME you are? I, for one, think it would be way cool. I stumbled across a blog a few days ago that aims to make this happen. The mission at moreloveletters.com is to spread the love, and I am totally on board. Join me?

More Love Letters is collecting letters (words of encouragement, basically) for three people during the month of September. You can read more about them here. Send your letters to the address listed on the website, and they will be included in the bundles being sent to Jessica, Kayla, and Wilson. 

Not sure what to say? Try an uplifting quote or a few encouraging words; sometimes two words can say more than an eighteen-page letter (FRONT AND BACK! ...Friends reference, sorry I'm obsessed).

Grab some pretty pens, write a few lines, and make someone's day a little brighter. And in case you haven't heard it in a while, YOU'RE AWESOME.