RELIEF: Ever since graduating in May, I've been a tightly wound ball of nerves, just a straight jacket away from being committed, in anticipation of getting HIRED. Everything I've worked for. If you've ever doubted the physical impact of stress, just take a look at my greasy face and the five pounds of Nutella around my waist. But two months and six interviews later, I HAVE A JOB and all is well! I am the newest third grade teacher at an amazing little neighborhood school, and count myself incredibly lucky to have been chosen for the position. I feel like I can finally breathe.
Thoughts on censoring: Sharing your thoughts in a public forum becomes a tricky thing when your readers could also potentially be the parents of the children you teach, or colleagues, or superiors. I've done a lot of thinking about this and, honestly, it has a lot to do with why I haven't written much in the last couple of months. I certainly don't have anything to hide, but there are boundaries all the same. Writing is and always has been cathartic for me, and I hope that it continues to be an outlet. I've toyed with the idea of keeping a private journal rather than blogging, but it isn't the same. I love blogging for the same reason I love to read the blogs of others-- it's part of the human condition, I think, to want to relate to other people, to find encouragement and validation in the lives of others. I like being part of that, even if for the sake of one other person. There have been so many times that I've read a post that made me feel like I was okay-- I'm not the only mom who hides in the bathroom on occasion when hubby comes home because for the love, just give me five minutes to exist and not speak to anyone,* or the only woman who wrestles with the hot mess that results from trying to "have it all." If any one of my posts can do that for someone else, I'm doing alright.
My kid is biting people. Namely, me. Just me, actually. We have certainly hit the ground running with this toddler thing, let me tell you! Little Dude has been testing the waters with lots of things, seeing what we will tolerate, I guess. Lots of temper tantrums happening around here, complete with tears and pouty lips and jello-like limbs splayed out on the floor. Any attempts to offer a different toy/option/sippyfortheloveofallthingsholy are usually denied and, as of this week, he does this thing where he cries and puts his sad little face on my leg like he wants to snuggle, just before biting me with his razor-sharp munchkin teeth. I've talked with lots of moms who have survived toddler-dom, and am hoping to use their advice to nip this in the bud. Wish me luck!
Always be kinder than you feel. I saw this quote on Pinterest a few weeks ago, and have been really committed to living it. Some days it's harder than others, but I'm trying and that's what counts. It's definitely easy to let people and situations get the best of you, but it feels so much better in the end when you just show kindness. Even when it seems unwarranted-- that's the hardest. It's a work in progress, for sure, but definitely worth trying.
Big moves! After three years in our apartment-- our first apartment together-- we're moving! We found the perfect townhouse just over the PA line, and are beyond excited to move in next month. Our apartment was a good fit for a while, but it's time for more space and a nicer neighborhood for Little Dude. Between a new job, a new place, and burning the candle at both ends to keep everything together, I'm ready for September to be here. I'm hopeful that by then, everything will be settled and calm. September is looking pretty good.
Feeling blessed. Despite the everyday hustle and bustle and sometimes blah of life, I have it pretty good! My kid is happy and healthy (well, minus the toddler-tantrum-biting thing and our current bout with the never-ending pinkeye thing, but you know what I mean), hubby and I have good jobs that provide for our family, and we have each other. In the end, that's all that matters, right? We have each other.
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